It’s 8:23 a.m., I got up for the day about 30 minutes ago, and my first instinct was to fetch my laptop from where I left it on the ottoman last night after clocking two hours at home, after a seven-hour day.
Lately I have to work as a machine and not as a person if I want to be on top of anything, let alone everything.
Today I’ll work a full day, starting probably before my first meeting at 11:30 a.m. and ending whenever the school board meeting — which starts at 7 p.m. and has an unusually long agenda of items A through Q — ends, and I make a 30-minute drive home. Or perhaps even later than that.
It’s safe to say I’m burning the candle at every end, and I feel like I’m drowning in the wax.
Couple that with my husband being out of town for a couple of days, and my guilt about having to leave our dog home alone for so many hours. (Couple that with my irrational worries about her safety and well-being, even though she wears a GPS collar so we can track her whereabouts at all times, after the terrifying incident of a tree falling through the back fence and her going out to explore when neither of us was home to notice.)
No. No, I’m not stressed out at all.
Yes — that was sarcasm.
I’ve written several times about my job, and I really do love what I do, but lately I have to work as a machine and not as a person if I want to be on top of anything, let alone everything.
It’s not sustainable, but what do you do when there’s no other discernible choice?
(Seriously: what do you do? Advice is welcome and appreciated.)
I’m burning the candle at every end and I feel like I’m drowning in the wax.
It does seem like it’s sustainable for some, however. I also feel like I can’t complain because I know my editor works roughly 12-hour days, and without an assistant editor, I’m almost positive he’s working seven days a week, too. Maybe he complains, but if he does, it’s not to me.
That doesn’t invalidate my own experiences and difficulties, but it does offer some perspective.
Still, I know this isn’t just me. We were discussing it in the office yesterday, how one of us, actually all of us, functions as something of a catch-all for assignments. We all need help.